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by Minew



Series: I Was Going To Die Slowly [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mental Disorder, Morbid Jealousy, Obsession, Othello Syndrome, Stalking, domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 03:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10179419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minew/pseuds/Minew
Summary: Luhan is the best boyfriend in the world. He was just unlucky when he set his heart on Minseok.





	

Luhan is a great boyfriend. In fact, he might be the best boyfriend in the world, which also makes it so much more frustrating that he’s absolutely sure that Minseok is cheating on him. Rationally speaking, this is a pretty stupid assumption because, really, Luhan is too good to ever cheat on, but his intuition keeps telling him that there’s something off with the other. The way he looks at fans, the way he talks to their band members. The way he forgets Luhan sometimes when something else is just much more interesting and Luhan hates it. For everything he knows, all he ever wanted was Minseok and only Minseok.

 

He’d fallen in love before they even debuted, Minseok was perfect in every way, sometimes a little tired but in general, just everything Luhan had ever wished for. And surely there were the initial doubts about his sexuality but as soon as they were placed in EXO, Luhan found that he no longer had to sneak-peek at the one month older trainee.

The friendship that blossomed between them only made Luhan fall harder in love, he was so infatuated with the older boy that he felt like his entire existence depended on Minseok. And maybe that was where it all went wrong but Luhan wasn’t going to regret falling in love with Minseok. They had become a couple slightly after their debut. They were busy, really busy and there were a lot of things happening around them, new schedules and fame like they’d never known before but it was here and it was all real. Minseok loved it despite being shy with the unfamiliar language. Luhan played on his personality as only Luhan could and helped the older with everything he could. He would stay up, just to teach a very sleepy Minseok a few Chinese words and the other probably didn’t learn anything but Luhan was satisfied with his efforts. They would kiss just before going on stage and Minseok would actively search Luhan’s hand when leaving after an interview.

They were inseparable until they returned back to Korea and started working on their next comeback.

 

Coming back with Wolf took longer than Luhan had expected it to and he was sure Minseok drifted away from him. They still kissed daily, he still got his morning peck and the other band members in the kitchen would still scrunch up their noses and Sehun would loudly voice his displeasure at the loving couple but Luhan felt off. It wasn’t genuine. It couldn’t be.

So he did what every other rational boyfriend would have done, he asked Minseok. Minseok raised an eyebrow at his questions and then laughed a genuine laugh before cupping Luhan’s cheeks and bringing him down on eye level.

“It's you and only you,” he had said and they had kissed and made love and Luhan had felt that everything was alright, at least until he woke up next day and noticed how Minseok would spend 2 minutes longer in his conversation with Joonmyun or how he would jump to ruffle Kris’ hair in the morning. Unusual behavior and Luhan didn’t like it. He really didn’t like it. He waited another week or so before he asked Minseok again. And he was being fair, even when Minseok raised his voice and asked him if he really trusted him that little. But it wasn’t about trust either, Luhan trusted Minseok. At least a little bit. Definitely trusted him enough.

It was just this nagging feeling that made it so hard to believe his words when his actions spoke differently.

 

Luhan didn’t mean to check his text messages when he did. He might even have considered it an accident, but Minseok’s phone was there, lying alone on the nightstand as the other had left to get his morning coffee and when Luhan couldn’t stand the temptation any longer he had reached towards the small electronic device and opened it. For a long time he had stared at the wallpaper of them. A great picture indeed but Minseok didn’t look happy. Luhan hadn’t noticed it before but his eyes didn’t shine as much as his gummy smile. The touch had been featherlight when he had pressed open the message app.

In reality, the phone shouldn’t even have reacted on his touch but it did and he was showed chats with people he knew and chats with people he didn’t know - and he had felt anger flare up in him when he noticed the chat with a female name and a heart. Minseok had entered through the door right that instant however and Luhan had closed the app immediately. Minseok had raised an eyebrow at the sight of Luhan holding his phone and Luhan had stammered out a convincing “your alarm” to which Minseok shrugged before he took the phone from Luhan, placed it on the nightstand once again and snuggled close under the covers with a sigh of “need sleep”.

Luhan had been on edge the entire day. It hadn’t gone away, however, when he’d woken up the next day or the day after that. He kept sending glances towards Minseok and every time the other was on his phone, Luhan had a nagging feeling that he was arranging meet-ups behind his back.

“You’re always looking at other people,” he had accused one day and Minseok had turned around to look at Luhan behind him.

“I only look at you,” Minseok had answered and Luhan had shaken his head because that wasn’t true and Minseok knew it. They were both aware of his infidelity, Minseok couldn’t be unaware of this. But the other seemed rather clueless when Luhan took a step forward and grabbed his wrist.

“Stop looking at other people.” Luhan was pouting. Oh, how he wanted to shout at Minseok, tell him to leave with his mistress but Luhan couldn’t do anything but pout as Minseok laughed and shook his head at him and leaned in to peck his lips.

“I promise, I only look at you.”

 

Luhan had been the first to say ‘I love you’ which undoubtedly only became another proof of Minseok’s infidelity. Surely, Minseok had repeated the words and they had kissed and made love until someone had knocked on the door and told them to ‘go mate somewhere fucking else because they were noisy as fuck’ but it wasn’t enough. Minseok would say that to everybody if he could, hell, he said it to the fans all the time. And Luhan knew that he wasn’t Minseok’s only love like Minseok was his. Instead of accusing Minseok of such thing he’d stolen his phone one evening when the other had had a class with his vocal trainer and deleted his Instagram account and the majority of his contacts and chats, leaving only ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ and ‘Lulu <3’. Before that, he’d read every chat to make sure Minseok hadn’t said anything to anyone.

Still, he hadn’t felt secure in his position as Minseok’s lover. It had caused a major argument between the two of them when Minseok had discovered that Luhan had been in his phone but Luhan had cried and said he was sorry and Minseok had taken him back. Luhan was sorry, he didn’t want to doubt the other, he just couldn’t control it when every of Minseok’s actions screamed infidelity to him. Minseok, however, had promised not to create another Instagram account if it made Luhan more secure. And it did. For a week or two until the nagging feeling came back and Luhan felt like he had to do something more drastic.

 

So he started asking Minseok where he was going, who he was going to meet and if he could tag along. He did everything to make sure Minseok didn’t leave the house unnecessary and he made sure to pester him every 5 minute when he did leave the dorm. It didn’t matter if it was official schedule or not, Luhan made him document who he was with. He even suggested he could do Minseok’s make-up but Minseok had laughed and told him he’d rather leave that to the professional make-up artists. But Luhan was convinced he was cheating on him, he didn’t care with whom but he cared a lot about Minseok. The other members noticed as well and asked Luhan to cut down on his jealousy and

The other members noticed as well and asked Luhan to cut down on his jealousy and Luhan growled that he wasn’t jealous. It wasn’t his fault that Minseok was such a lovely person and that he had a foreshadowing feeling of losing him nor was it his fault that Minseok was cheating on him. In fact, that was Minseok’s fault entirely. Therefore, Luhan didn’t feel bad when he found himself going through Minseok’s clothes, sniffing his t-shirts for foreign perfumes or looking for fingerprints on his hands. Most of it smelled of Minseok though and the smell was reassuring and upsetting at the same time. 

Minseok found him with his nose buried in his pajamas when he returned home from schedule and asked him what he was doing and Luhan ignored his reproach and instead told him that he needed to get rid of his wardrobe. Minseok had protested, of course he had, but Luhan had been firm on this. He wanted everything out, everything to have the smell of new clothes because that way he would easily detect any slight smell of anything different. Minseok rolled his eyes as he left but Luhan’s fear only got stronger.

He told Minseok to stop going to the gym, he could work out in the dorm. Luhan even bought him a treadmill so he didn’t have to leave. He told Minseok to only talk to his friends 5 minutes at a maximum on the phone and his parents the same. Luhan would stand close by, pointing at his watch as Minseok spoke in his phone. He would take the phone from Minseok if he spoke more than 5 minutes and hang up.

 

When they finally did come back with Wolf, he kept his eyes on Minseok all the time. He was hard to get in contact with, his attention constantly focused on Minseok. Fans wrote it off as fanservice but Luhan wasn’t doing anything for fans, he was doing it for him, for them. For their happiness. He didn’t want to lose Minseok to someone else, someone who wouldn’t appreciate the other man as much as Luhan did. Nobody could love him as much as he did. Minseok sent him uncertain glances and indulged in fanservice but otherwise avoided him as much as possible and it only spurred on Luhan’s jealousy and his belief that Minseok was undoubtedly cheating on him. And he hated it. He felt constantly angry, like he had to make sure Minseok behaved like he was supposed to all the time and it only made him cranky.

Minseok seemed to lose his will to live and the more he snuck out (or tried to), the more Luhan blamed him of infidelity. Minseok had lost his fight and when Luhan pulled out his sim-card to make sure he had no one to contact, he succumbed to his room. Luhan, however, still saw the looks Minseok gave their band members on stage and he hated it, it all meant something more, he was sure of it.

 

“You’re cheating on me,” he shouted and raised his hand. Minseok looked at him with a strange, weak look. “I know it, I smelled the perfume on you yesterday evening after schedule! Had fun with Jongin in the backstage room without me, huh? You always need so many people, don’t you? You’re always fucking around.” Minseok said nothing while Luhan continued his accusations. And then the sound of skin against skin as Luhan’s palm collided with the other’s cheek. He was heaving with heavy accusations and Minseok’s cheek was slowly showing the red print of his palm. Luhan was staring at the other before he gently cupped his cheeks and pressed his lips forcefully on Minseok’s. “I love you, don’t you understand? I just want you. I love you so much, please don’t do this Minseok. Be good to me, be a good boyfriend and stay with me.” The words were whispered against his lips and Luhan pressed his lips against Minseok’s again in a soft kiss when he’d stopped talking. Nobody ever mentioned it again.

 

Luhan tried his hardest not to beat Minseok because beating was wrong, but the feeling was still there, Minseok was still cheating on him and Luhan almost didn’t know what to do anymore. He had taken away his means of communications, made sure he didn’t leave the house and did he leave without Luhan, all it did was anger Luhan even more. And of course the other said something but Luhan denied his jealousy. He wasn’t jealous and whatever happened in their relationship wasn’t important to any of them anyway and so he would tell them exactly that. It wasn’t until the CEO asked to meet him that he realized what was really happening.

“We’re annulling your contract, Luhan. Go back to China.” He had blinked at the news. What? And then he was told that they were going to set it up as if he was leaving but technically, he had no say, the case filed would be all for show and he was out and denied access to the company or any of their events. Which made little sense because he was dating Minseok, so wasn’t it only fair that he got to stay in the company. But the CEO was clear with his message, Luhan was out and he was never going to return again.

When he got back home, all he found was a message with 3 words on it, 3 words that Luhan shreds the paper to pieces and shout. No way he was losing Minseok like this. He searched through the dorm only to realize he was alone and oh no, he was not going to let Minseok and his fucking lover get away with this. This scheming to get rid of him. He loved Minseok only, he deserved Minseok. Minseok belonged to him and to nobody else. He wandered the streets but found no Minseok, no lover. He caught nobody in the act of love and he didn’t get to kill a mistress or beat up his boyfriend. They couldn’t break up, Luhan wouldn’t allow it. But out he was anyway and he was placed on a plane back to China while the company told the media lies about how he had sued them for annulling of his contract. Luhan hated and loved Minseok all the same, however, and it made him furious when he realized the other had gotten a new phone number. It didn’t take long to track it down though and when he called Minseok, he cried and threatened to kill himself if Minseok didn’t take him back. So Minseok did, of course, but Luhan didn’t return to Korea for another 2 weeks. 

 

When he did return to Korea, there was no boyfriend in the airport with gummy smiles and sunglasses to pick him up. Taking a cab to their old dorm only made him realize they had moved dorm rooms and the call Minseok told him the number was out of use. And he swore and did his best to track Minseok down. When the company got hold of news of him in Korea they sought him out and told him to return to China and leave Minseok alone. But how could he leave his boyfriend behind like this? A connecting call to Minseok had the other man promise that they could be together if only Luhan returned to China for a while. Luhan hated himself when he sat on the plane, he should have been with Minseok and they both knew.

The feeling of Minseok cheating when Luhan wasn’t there was overwhelming and the fear crippled him for the first few days. Then he sought out Minseok’s phone number again and every time he got connected to the mechanical voice that told him that the number was out of service he swore and tracked down another number. He would never let go. He watched EXO’s performances, their music videos and he swore, he swore that Minseok was cheating on him. And whenever he told Minseok that, the other would sound uncertain, as if he had something to hide and Luhan hated him for it, hated him for cheating on Luhan when Luhan was the only one that could love Minseok the way he deserved to be loved. Minseok knew because Luhan had told him so many times.

It had been a fateful day when he had received a text with the same three words, the same three dreadful words and Luhan had called him and told him he would kill himself right now, right then, while he was talking with Minseok if he didn’t take him back and Minseok had hung up on him. Luhan had cut that night, wanted to kill himself but filled with rage that he was chosen second and he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it if Minseok didn’t care.

 

And Luhan doesn’t get how Minseok is cheating on him when he knows that Luhan is the only boyfriend that will only matter to him. He doesn’t understand why he is in China when the love of his life is in Korea. He understands, however, that _I break up_  are untrue words, that it’s an illusion because someone had told him to say so. That Minseok would never break up with him because he should know that only Luhan provides the love he deserves. He still can’t shake off the feeling that Minseok is cheating on him. He’s sure of it. Luhan doesn’t know what he would do if he was to finally meet Minseok but for now it’s enough to call him and find his new phone number and call him again to tell him just how he’s killing him. To make sure Minseok knows that he’s murdering another human being, that he isn’t worth what he has because of what he’s doing against Luhan. That what they had was perfect and what everyone in the world would want and how he just threw it away.

Luhan likes reminding Minseok of the past and of how perfect of a boyfriend he is. Because really, how could Minseok ever think cheating on Luhan would ever lead anything good with it when he had the best boyfriend in the world. And until he can find Minseok, Luhan will continue calling him to remind him of what a horrible human he is. Luhan is the best boyfriend in the world, he was just unlucky when he set his heart on Minseok.

**Author's Note:**

> Morbid jealousy, also known as Othello Syndrome or delusional jealousy, is a psychological disorder in which a person is preoccupied with the thought that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful without having any real proof, along with socially unacceptable or abnormal behaviour related to these thoughts.


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